A Conversation - Long Overdue
by Skaoi
Summary: A guy walks into a bar...stop me if you've heard this one before...
1. Chapter 1

Lucifer sarcastically dubbed the first day of the work-week as "Morningstar Monday."

Lux is closed so the staff can recover from the debauchery of the weekend. The dancers stay home for well-deserved sleep and the bar-backs don't arrive until the evening to re-stock. Stickler for cleanliness that he is, Lucifer's club is wiped down and spotless before anyone left the night before.

He finally listened when Maze asked about turning off the air conditioning and had to grudgingly agree she was correct - their little den of iniquity felt just a bit more like home. Warm and stuffy. "I dare say it's stifling in here, Maze. Lovely."

She smirks as she flops down on a sofa and puts her feet up, her skin fairly glowing from the sheen of sweat on her coffee-colored skin, "You're welcome."

Lucifer strolls behind the bar, his white shirt standing out in the dim of the club. Sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons open, one hand in a pocket while he leans against the bar to sip his scotch. A long finger taps the glass as he seems lost in thought. It would seem the Lord of Hell hasn't a care in the world at the moment if not for the impossibly straight line across his shoulders.

Anticipation. But of what?

Picking up his glass and a bottle, he ambles to the piano. Maze's eyebrows raise slightly as he sits at the bench then proceeds to stare at the keys for a moment. She huffs boredom then takes to her feet, "I'll be back later, Lucifer."

"Fine, Maze." A vague smile, but he still doesn't look up from Satan's distraction, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, yeah?"

She snickers before downing her drink then stalking up the stairs and out the door.

Lucifer tinkers with his musical mistress for some time. Starting one tune, finishing another. Humming at times, singing under his breath at others.

Floating along on a stream of inattention.

A sound at the top of the stairs catches his ear and he turns to see an elderly gentleman in neat but worn clothing. The Prince of Darkness stands, mildly noting the empty bottle of scotch in his piano, then meandering to the bar for another as the man steps onto the club floor and approaches.

"We're closed," Lucifer says quietly, noting the man's threadbare sweater vest and the ragged cuffs of his pants. "Open again tomorrow night. Have a care for the dress code when you return, hmmm?"

A warm chuckle comes from the tall gentleman's chest and pours into the quiet space of the club. He looks around with a gentle smile on his face then turns it to Lucifer. He cocks his head, dark eyes sparkling, "Pour me some of that will you?"

Lucifer looks up and narrows his eyes, "Nervy one, eh? What is it you want, then? I'm not the charitable type, so I hope you're not here for a hand-out," he grumbles softly.

The man's grin broadens, "We both know better than that, don't we?"

Lucifer cocks his head and looks more closely. After a long moment, his eyes widen and he steps back. "Well," he huffs quietly as he pours a drink and places it in front of his visitor. "Slumming, are we?"

The man shrugs as he raises his glass without a word but his eyes travel over Lucifer in appraisal. He takes a sip then lowers the glass and smiles softly, "You look good."

Lucifer leans insolently against the bar and taps his finger against his own glass, "I do, don't I? No thanks to you."

Surprisingly (or not), the man's smile broadens, "I suppose not." He looks around the empty club then begins to stroll around the space. "I'm surprised you chose to do this. It's cozy, don't get me wrong, but certainly you recognize you could have gone in another direction with it. A library, perhaps? You still love to read, yes?"

Lucifer clenches his jaw and his guest hears the teeth grinding together, "Why are you here, Father?" He tosses back his drink and stands straight up, "Come to send me back yourself?"

God shakes his head, the smile never leaving his face, "No, son. I'm not." He wanders past the piano, his hand stroking it lovingly as he goes by. He sips his scotch and raises it toward the fallen angel as if in salute, "I just wanted to...see you."

Lucifer huffs in irritation but it's obvious from the blackening of his eyes that this is painful, "Bollocks. You can bloody SEE me any time you like," he waves toward the ceiling, "from your front row seat." He casts a harsh glance at his father before turning to walk from behind the bar, "Just...say what you came to say and get it over with alright?"

A glint of sadness shades God's eyes as he looks at his son. Still so proud. "How's free will working out?" he asks quietly. "You wanted it so much..."

The Lord of Hell's mouth gapes just slightly before he closes it into a harsh line, "You don't speak to me for almost the entire span of human existence, then you come to my home to ask me _this_?" Brows furrow and he growls, "Is there some reason you pretend to care now?"

His father sighs heavily and looks down at his hands for a moment. "I _do_ care, Lucifer. I always have," he smiles sadly as he looks at his son. "I always will."

Lucifer huffs loudly as he looks his father up and down, "Expect me to believe that, do you? Rather funny way of showing it, tossing me out on my ass and giving me the cold shoulder with nary a word."

God paces slowly, "You know sometimes when Mazikeen is about to make a poor decision, but you let her do it anyway? And what she learns from it is better than anything she could have taken away from you trying to tell her what to do?"

Lucifer frowns and stuffs his hands in his pockets, "I hardly see what my relationship with my demon has to do with any of this."

God shakes his head again as he walks slowly toward his son, "You are _still_ my most obstinate creation. You know that, right?" He chuckles without humor, "It's part of free will, son. You wanted to be judged for your decisions, but how much responsibility for those decisions can you honestly take if I'm in you're ear all the time?" He sighs, "Growth requires space. Independence." He flashes a rueful smile and offers a small shrug, "And, you were right...consequences."

Lucifer spits. "There's a middle ground, Father. If we're using Maze as the comparison, at least I am present in her life. I'm not bloody telling her what to do most of the time, but she's not sodding ALONE, either." He chokes on the last bit and turns back to the bar where he reaches for the comfort of his glass.

The Lord of All Creation is silent a long moment then finally nods, "You're right. I...neglected you. Abandoned you. And I'm...sorry."

"Is that it?" Lucifer hisses. "You're _sorry_? That's supposed to make up for millions of years? For being blamed by humanity for its sins?"

God drains the last of his scotch, "No. There's nothing I do can make up for lost time, Lucifer. But I can try to do a better job moving forward. And humanity casting you as its scapegoat has nothing to do with me..."

"You could have STOPPED it, Father," Lucifer coughs a sharp laugh. "I don't know, put in a good word, perhaps?" he asks, his voice strained.

God carefully sets the glass down on the bar, "You could have stopped it yourself, son," he says quietly. He turns toward the stairs then turns back to take a last look at Lucifer with a soft smile, "Still can."

"What?" Lucifer looks down at his hands for a moment then looks up again, "I..." he stops. The room is empty.


	2. Just Like Starting Over

Ella Lopez stuffs her earbuds in then cranks up the volume on the Twenty-One Pilots track streaming through her phone. "All my friends are heathens take it slow. Wait for them to ask you who you know..." _I love these guys,_ she thinks as she bobs her head and tightens her sneakers. Locking the door closed on her apartment, she heads out to the boardwalk for a run.

She glances at the sky, noting the angry dark clouds on the horizon, "Looks like two or three hours away," she mutters as she turns south along Ocean Boulevard, toward Venice Beach, and establishes a bruising pace. The rhythm of rubber-on-concrete paired with the music from her phone allows her mind to relax and process. Think without thinking.

The forensics specialist smiles as she approaches the skate park. So many hours spent with her brothers in Detroit skating in empty parking lots and abandoned pools. Warmth fills her heart as she thinks about them and how lucky they all are to have escaped the mean streets to do some good in their own way.

Her smile grows as she thinks about her brothers. Michael is the oldest and always bossed them around. The Army sergeant and his wife, Maria, are expecting their first son any day now. _I'm going to be an aunt!_

Thomas, the next brother just made partner in his law firm. An excellent fit - he was always one for an argument. John, the quiet and thoughtful one, is studying theology. Gabriel is studying communications. Another good choice, as the youngest brother always struggled to be heard in the din of their large household. Being the only girl, sandwiched between so many different boys, was great preparation for Ella's work with the LAPD.

As she runs along, she is brought up short when she sees a pair of men sitting at a table with a chessboard. One is an obviously tall and stately older gentleman who has taken great care of himself. The other is... _Lucifer? I didn't know he plays chess._

Pulling her earbuds out, she trots over and pats her friend on the back, "Hey, Luce!"

He looks at her, lips drawn tight as he drops the pawn in his hand.

"...ifer..." she continues then points at the table, "I didn't know you play."

Lucifer clears his throat then turns his focus back to the table. Picking up the chess piece, he grumbles, "I _don't_ , but my..." he glances anxiously across the table, "...Father...asked me to join him, so..."

Ella bounces on her toes and looks at the older gentleman then points, "Hey! This is your dad?" She reaches out to shake his hand, "It's so nice to meet you, Mr...Morningstar, right? Or should I call you "God?" I'm Ella. I'd hug you but I'm sweaty and gross." She smirks at Lucifer and gives him a conspiratorial wink before continuing, "I've heard SO much about you!"

God sits back against his chair and regards the human who has joined them. His blue eyes sparkle with delight and he arches a brow at his son. Lucifer shrugs insolently, _Talk to her, I don't care._

Satan's father gestures to a nearby chair, "Hello, child. Join us, won't you?"

Ella's face lights up and she grabs a seat, "Thanks!" She looks at the pieces on the table then to her friend, "Hey, dude, he's about to check you."

Lucifer shoots her an irritated glance, "I see that, yes, thank you," he huffs as he resumes glaring at the board.

God chuckles, "So, Ella, how do you know my son?" Lucifer shoots him a sharp glance and is promptly ignored by both of them.

She smiles happily, "We work together for the LAPD." She leans over and whispers not-quietly, "He's really good at helping us catch and punish bad guys!"

God smiles as he patiently waits for Lucifer to move his piece then looks back at Ella, "Is he, now? I can't say I'm terribly surprised."

Ella continues, encouraged, "We work with some detectives, Chloe and Dan. They're great, too." She whispers again, "I think Chloe likes..."

"Miss Lopez, if you please," Lucifer huffs in irritation.

She blushes and smiles, "Sorry."

Lucifer's father winks, "I promise not to bother him about it, my dear."

Ella smiles and beams at him, "Cool. Hey, dude, so...how long are you here for? Luce didn't mention you were visiting."

God shrugs and offers an enigmatic smile, "I surprised him."

The subject of their conversation rolls his eyes, "I am _right_ here and would appreciate if you didn't discuss me as if I weren't."

The forensics specialist sits up a bit straighter and turns to her friend then reaches out to touch his arm, "I'm sorry, Lucifer. You're right." She looks down at the chessboard, "Can I help?"

Lucifer arches a brow at her, "Players in this game are not allowed...assistance...Miss Lopez." His eyes flick to the small grin playing across his father's face then back to the young woman sitting with them, "But...thank you for the offer."

God leans forward and waves at the board, "By all means, son. You should allow your friend to help." He winks, "Perhaps Ella can offer some...insight."

"Cool!" Ella gushes as she takes stock of Lucifer's pieces. "Hmmmm..."

Lucifer sits back and waits for her feedback. She finally shakes her head and looks at his father, "Can you guys start over?"

Lucifer gives her a sharp look, "What? A bit too far gone for that." He huffs as he gestures at the board, "Obviously, I've made a mess of things here but we have to play the pieces where they stand. There is no 'starting over'."

God arches a brow across the table at his son and pauses for a long moment before Ella responds, "Are you in a rush to get somewhere?" She elbows him, " _Meeting_ someone later?"

He glowers, "No, I..."

His father interrupts, "There is no rush." He shoots Lucifer a meaningful look, "We have all the time in the world, son. Would you...like...to start over?"

Lucifer blinks and Ella cocks her head to see them change slightly to a glossy black. He sits back and coughs softly as he looks down at the board then slowly raises his dark eyes to meet the sparkling sky-blue eyes of his Father, "I...believe I would...yes," he replies softly.


	3. Pushing Me Away

Lucifer picks his way along the crowded sidewalk, paying scant attention to the press of humanity around him. This is too much.

Equally silent, his father maintains the same thoughtful pace. Every so often, he cocks his head and a small smile slides across his face as another of his creations ventures too close.

"Remarkable, aren't they?" he finally asks quietly after a shirtless, tattooed skateboarder zips by.

Lucifer shrugs, "Indeed. And not all in a good way."

His father nods slowly in agreement, "This is true."

Lucifer stops and and looks at God, his brows furrowing in confusion, "Why do you allow it? All the nasty things these humans do to each other. The suffering." His dark eyes gleam as they slide away, "It's almost unbearable sometimes."

They are interrupted when an attractive Hispanic woman approaches, "Hiiiii Lucifer," she purrs as she runs her hand along his arm. No mistaking the come hither look on her face.

Lucifer smiles affectionately, "Ah, Maria, darling," he greets her in return as he bends to kiss her cheek. She turns her head to catch his lips instead and he draws back with a chuckle, "Minx. I'm available tomorrow evening, my dear. Why don't you drop by then, hmmm? And bring Jorge - we'll make it a party."

Maria blushes and smiles happily as she nods, "Will do, Lucifer." She walks away, hips swinging.

"You...enjoy the humans, don't you, son?" God asks.

Lucifer's eyebrows go up, "You see everything from up there," he smirks as his eyes flick to the sky. "You know exactly how I _enjoy_ them."

His father shakes his head, "No, I don't mean just their bodies. Them. Interacting with them. Participating in their lives. It brings you happiness."

The Lord of Hell shrugs dismissively as they continue their journey down the sidewalk, "They can be unpredictable. Sometimes mildly interesting."

God chuckles, "Definitely unpredictable. Something you have in common." He pauses for a moment before continuing, "Free will being what it is."

Lucifer's eyebrows go up, "Oh come on. You still know what's going to happen all the bloody time. How much free will is there really?" he huffs.

His father shrugs as they part for a moment to avoid a stroller, "I could know if I choose to, but I actively pay no attention now. I...can't."

Lucifer frowns and gives him a sharp look, "What d'you mean you can't? You're _God_. You can do bloody anything!" He waves his hand to indicate the people around them, "And all these fools will still worship you for it! Don't tell me you _can't_."

God sighs and tries again, "Either humans can have free will or I can be active in their lives. It can't go both ways." He shoots his son a pointed look, "We both know humans must take responsibility for their behavior."

Satan rolls his eyes, "Certainly you know most of them don't. They never will. Hell is filled with souls still blaming others for their misdeeds. Especially me," he growls in frustration.

His father nods, "I know. And I don't know how to change that." He grins, "Maybe if you stay out of Hell long enough, they'll forget all about you. Let you live your life."

Lucifer narrows his eyes, "You would never allow that."

God shrugs again, "Why not? Since you came here, I've been impressed with how you've exercised your free will." His smile is affectionate and Lucifer scowls even more. "I've been so impressed, I have actually been slowly introducing free will to your siblings. One at a time, though. Making sure each one is used to it before giving it to another."

Lucifer just stares at him for a long moment, mouth slightly agape. He finally speaks after a long pause, "And how's that working out?"

A pained expression crosses God's face, "One fell, the other...died." He finishes the sentence with a pointed look at his son.

"You presented me with no other choice, you...bastard," Lucifer stammers as his eyes gloss.

His father sighs heavily, "You _did_ have a choice, son. Bad options are still options. And, if it matters at all, I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Lucifer's face flushes with barely -concealed rage, "Why? Why did you do this to me?"

God shakes his head, "You don't understand."

His son shakes his head, "Oh, I understand all too well. It was a lesson to show me what a monster I really am. That I would kill my own brother out of the selfish desire to protect the one human I bloody care about. Who dares to perhaps care about me in return?"

God shakes his head again, more slowly this time, "No, son. It wasn't about you at all. Or Miss Decker. Or even your mother, for that matter."

Lucifer stares at his father with his mouth open, " _What_?"

His father looks down at the ground as they walk, silent for a long moment. Finally, he takes a deep breath, "It was about Uriel. He was the second to receive free will and...well, you saw what he chose to do with it." His brow furrows as his breath catches.

Lucifer stops in the middle of the sidewalk, ignoring the people who glare at him for impeding their progress, "Has my role escalated then? I'm to be The Consequence for my brothers and sisters as well? Absolutely not. I refuse. Do with me what you wish, but you'll have to find another for the task."

God's eyes open wide. Beseeching. "I didn't mean for this to happen, Lucifer. Certainly you understand."

Satan nods, his face flushing with anger again. "Of course I do," he growls. "I'm to be vilified by my siblings, in addition to all of humanity, because you're too irresponsible to do it your bloody self." He stretches himself to his full height and adjusts his jacket as he steps forward, "I'm done with being The Wrath of God, Father. Time for you to take responsibility for _your_ actions, now."

His father rests a hand on his arm and nods sadly, "I know, son. It's why I'm here."

Lucifer growls as he glares, "You have not been given leave to touch me. Bugger off."

God releases his son, "Fine. I've come to ask...a favor."

Lucifer's eyebrows come down as he continues to glare, "What do you want? And talk fast, because I'm done with this little chat."

His father sighs, "I need a better understanding of free will. I've been watching humans, obviously, but I don't have a relationship with them. Asking them about it would be...difficult." Lucifer is silent, so he continues, "You, however, I have a relationship with."

"A _bad_ one," his son interrupts.

God nods, "Yes. But a relationship nonetheless. You seem to have a handle on this free will business and I need a better understanding if I'm to help your siblings do a better job with it."

"Oh, unlike how you abandoned me to it?" Lucifer quips.

His father nods again, sadly, "Yes. Will you help me?"

Lucifer is silent for a long minute while they continue down the sidewalk. Finally he looks over, "So that's it, then? I help you understand the actual application of free will and you'll do something for me in return?"

God's expression turns hopeful as he nods, "Yes. What do you want?"

His son's face splits into a wicked grin, "I'm not sure at the moment, but I accept your terms - I instruct you on free will in return for a favor of my choosing to be returned later." He coughs a laugh, "As often as the Detective is shot at, I'm sure your debt won't be outstanding for long."

His father nods, "So be it. Now, tell me about your experience with free will and how you came to understand it."

Lucifer chuckles, "Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast. Before we properly begin the lesson, I'm going to assign you...homework. Call it research, if you will."

God's eyebrows go up, "Oh? What do I need to do?"

His son's eyes light up as the grin overtakes his face, "Go to Hell, Father."


	4. Thorn in My Pride

God sits heavily on a bar stool at Lux.

Lucifer's eyebrows come down, "What's the matter with you?"

His father doesn't look at him for a long moment. Finally, he sighs, "I...did what you asked, son."

Lucifer pauses then holds up one finger, "Hold that thought." He reaches under the bar and procures a dust-covered bottle with a wax-encrusted cork. With quick snap of his wrist, he breaks the seal and opens it.

His father watches as what looks like liquid sunshine pours from the bottle into two highball glasses. He raises a glass and gives a sniff. It even _smells_ like sunshine as well, warm and sweet. "What is this?" he asks.

His son smiles as he also takes a moment to savor the delicate scent rising from the glass, "Modern humans call it mead. It's a wine of sorts, made from honey. They've been making it since well before your failed experiment which yielded my half-brother."

God takes a sip and nods, "Not very different from ambrosia, is it?"

Lucifer admires how even the low light of his club seems to ignite the liquid from within. "Ingenious, really, how they've taken something as bizarre as bee vomit and turned into something so delightful." He hefts his glass, "This is several hundred years old, actually. Bought it off one of those dreadful treasure hunters that dives for sunken ships."

He savors another sip before giving his father a long look, "Alright. Now that you've been fortified, how was your homework?"

His father frowns as he searches for the words to express his disappointment. "So many souls thought they were following my bidding when they...committed the acts that sent them to Hell." The frown deepens to a scowl, "They were still so...angry."

A sardonic grin creases Lucifer's face, "Did you tell them who _actually_ makes it to Heaven? All the sinners who work their arses off to make this place better - whether they actually believe in you or not?"

He takes another sip before he continues, "The philandering surgeon who thinks _he_ is actually God while saving an average of ten lives a week. The atheist who sits hospice with the homeless so they don't have to die alone." Another pause. "The divorced police detective who puts her own life in danger to save another who probably isn't worth it," he adds softly.

"Lucifer!"

The Lord of Hell and his father look to the top of the stairs to see Daniel Espinoza coming down the stairs of Lux.

Dan looks back and forth between Lucifer and the older gentleman sitting at the bar, "Am I interrupting anything?"

Lucifer shakes his head as a bottle of beer appears on the bar and he slides it forward, "Absolutely not, Daniel. Please join us." He gestures at the other man, "This is my..."

"Friend," his father interrupts, raising his eyebrows at his son.

Lucifer makes a dismissive sound, "I wouldn't go _that_ far."

Dan nods, "Nice to meet you."

Lucifer raises his eyebrows, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your appearance, Daniel? Are you here about a case?"

Dan takes a sip of his beer then shakes his head, "No, actually, I came to invite you to my next class." He flushes a moment then shrugs, "I'm working on a piece and think you could be a good partner for it. You know...after that...performance you gave in court last week."

Lucifer preens, "I _was_ brilliant, wasn't I? Tell me about this...piece. Planning to ridicule me again? Your accent is dreadful."

The detective's blush deepens, "Look, man, I said I'm sorry about that. And...I'm not going to ridicule you but I've been doing some thinking and would like to incorporate some of our work together." He pauses for a deep breath then releases it, "If you're not there, I'll feel like I'm...I don't know...betraying you somehow. I don't want to do that."

Satan coughs a laugh, "I'm The Devil, Daniel. Everyone betrays me at some point, why not have your go at it?"

God watches Dan's reaction with interest as the detective rolls his eyes, "Come on, Lucifer. You can be an asshole, but you need to get off this "I'm The Devil" thing. It's too weird."

The Lord of Heaven smiles softly, "Do you not believe in The Devil, Daniel?"

Dan casts an assessing glance toward the older gentleman and shrugs, "Not really, no."

Another smile, "So, does that also mean you don't believe in...God?"

Another shrug, "I guess not. Haven't really thought about it."

God nods, "Why not?"

Daniel's brows furrow as he looks more closely, "I'm a cop. I see a lot of messed up stuff. People hurting each other in awful ways every day. It never ends." He gestures skyward as his expression hints toward anger, "All these people believe there's some mythical, father figure hanging out up there on a puffy cloud or something, watching out for us when the fact of the matter is we have to look out for ourselves." He pauses for a sip of his beer, "Help isn't coming."

Lucifer takes a long sip of his mead to avoid bursting into laughter.

His father looks over, his blue eyes darkened by sadness as he notes the mirthful twinkle in Lucifer's own dark eyes.

God sighs then looks back at Dan, "I'm...sorry you feel that way, my son."

Dan blinks, "You a preacher?" He looks at Lucifer, clearly confused, "Not the company I'd expect _you_ to keep."

The older gentleman flashes a small smile, "You could say that I am acquainted with the word of God."

Dan shrugs then points his beer-laden hand at Lucifer, "Well, don't believe this guy. He's not The Devil. If for no other reason than I've seen him do some pretty damned heroic stuff to help people. The Devil wouldn't do that."

God raises his eyebrows, "No? Why not?"

Dan shrugs again and tosses back the rest of his beer, "Satan's evil," he replies with finality. "All the stories say so."

God feels, more than sees the heat rising from his son. He looks over to see Lucifer's eyes closed as he takes a slow, deep breath. Knowing the flame that is likely in his eyes and what would happen if the conversation isn't redirected, he turns back to the detective, "So, Daniel, if you don't believe in God and The Devil, what drives you to be a police officer?"

Dan blinks again, "To help people. There are helpless men, women and children out there with no one to turn to. Guy beats his wife and kids, who's going to help them out? A doctor gets killed because some meth addict tried to rob a clinic, who's going to find the scumbag and put him away?"

Eyebrows around him go up and he huffs in frustration, "Look, even if "God" and "The Devil" [he uses air quotes] were real, these perps wouldn't get their what-for until it's too late to get justice their victims. That's what _we're_ here for." He points at Lucifer, " _You_ know that. You help us bag scum and put them behind bars all the time. You go on and on about punishing people. Why do _you_ do it?"

Lucifer doesn't bat an eye as the smirk slides across his face, "God told me to, Daniel."

Dan shuffles his feet and puts his hands on his hips. Lucifer recognizes the man's agitation as he ignores his father's soft cough. "God talks to you?" the detective inquires.

Lucifer smirks and waggles an eyebrow at his father, "Not much, mind, but it's been known to happen."

The detective looks down at the floor then shakes his head as he looks up with a laugh, "You say some weird stuff, man." He steps away as if to leave then turns back, "Hey, so can you come?"

Lucifer flashes a cheeky grin, "Wouldn't miss it, Daniel. Just send me the details."

Dan smiles and nods his head, "Thanks. I owe you one." He trots up the stairs and is gone.

God looks at his son, confusion written all over his face.

"We rated air quotes!" Lucifer's grin grows wider, "What? Certainly this wasn't your first atheist. I know for a fact some of them get up to Heaven. I bet they seem so surprised, too..."

His father shakes his head, "I always thought those souls were surprised they made it to Heaven, not that they questioned its very existence. They don't believe?" He points at his son, "You actually TELL people who you really are and they still...?"

The Lord of Hell chuckles merrily as he pours another, heftier, round of mead, "Marvelous, isn't it? Does it chafe you? That some of your little creations don't drop to their knees for you?" He snickers, "I've had plenty of them do it for me, I can understand why you'd be disappointed, as some of them are _quite_ talented."

God flashes him a dark look, " _Lucifer_."

"Oh, come on. Would it kill you to actually have a sense of humor?" Lucifer gestures, "I promise you there are a couple billion humans here that are convinced you have one, if their circumstances are anything to go by at any rate."

His father frowns, "They feel I...toy...with them?"

Lucifer shrugs, "Don't you, though? Can't you just, I don't know, wave your hand and cause all humans to at least treat each other properly?"

God shakes his head and looks down at the glass in his hands, "It would cancel out their free will." He gives his son a pointed look, "I could have done it to you if I wanted. Are you glad I didn't?"

Lucifer's glass stops halfway to his mouth as his dark eyes capture his father's blue gaze, "Fair enough. So...what is the bloody point? People follow your rules and get shit on. A good many who don't follow your rules do perfectly fine. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it all."

His father shakes his head again, "It's all their own doing, Lucifer. From the time they are born until their last breath. Neither you nor I get involved until Judgement. It's how it's always been."

Satan raises his eyebrows, "Always?"

God shrugs again, "For the most part. After Noah, at least. _That_ was a disaster."

"Hah!" Lucifer crows and points at his father, "You DO have a sense of humor. Well-played."


	5. The Sno-Cone Philosophy

Trixie cranes her neck to look way, way up at her mother's friend, "Can I have blue raspberry?" She bats her eyes and gives a hopeful, if somewhat gap-toothed grin.

Lucifer huffs in irritation and gestures toward the window of the sno-cone van, "Very well. But if your mother asks about the stain in your mouth, I counseled against it."

The nine year-old bounces on her toes, "Cool!" She looks at the vendor, "I'd like a blue raspberry sno-cone, please!"

God looks down at Chloe Decker's daughter with a soft smile, the corners of his eyes wrinkling slightly, then he looks over at his son, "Fascinating, isn't she?"

Lucifer orders his Tropic Wonder then turns to his father with a grimace, "If by "fascinating" you mean "overly enthusiastic, loud, and sticky" then, yes. _Fascinating_."

His father orders a lemon sno-cone then looks at Lucifer again, "So, why are we here, son?"

Satan points at the child who is currently distracted with licking blue syrup off the top of her shaved ice treat, "Another lesson in free will and how the humans teach their children to apply it." He continues at his father's confused expression, "Think of it as management of consequences. For example..."

Lucifer turns to Trixie, "Spawn..."

She blinks up at him and flashes a blue-tinged grin, "Uh-huh?"

"What will your mother think when she sees your face dyed blue from your sno-cone?" he inquires.

Trixie squinches her face at him, "My face isn't blue, Lucifer. Just my mouth. And she won't be too mad. I can brush my teeth and make it go away."

He nods before continuing, "Right. So, the sno-cone is worth having a temporarily-blue mouth?"

The child shoves another spoonful of the treat into her mouth and nods, pigtails bouncing, "Mmm-hmmm!"

Lucifer continues, "But, what if that unnatural hue doesn't leave your mouth after you scrub with your toothbrush? If lasted a bit longer. Would she be angry then?"

She nods enthusiastically, "Yeah. She'd kill _you_ for letting me have it."

God's laughter is cut off by his son's glare.

Lucifer nods in agreement as he continues his questioning, "And, why would she be upset at _me_ and not you?"

Trixie gives him a look like he's been suddenly struck dumb, "Because you're the grown-up, duh. You're in charge of me right now and you're supposed to take care of me."

He smiles, "So, if you dyed your mouth blue with a sno-cone as an adult, whose fault would that be?"

She narrows her eyes, "Mine, Lucifer. But I'm a kid, so it's not my fault yet."

Lucifer nods, "Riiiight. If your mouth were to be permanently dyed blue as a result of consuming this sweet, sticky syrup-covered shaved ice concoction, would you still eat it?"

Trixie puts a hand on her hip and, for a moment, Lucifer sees her resemblance to her father, "That would be stupid, Lucifer."

"Why is that?" he inquires.

She huffs as if _everybody_ knows why that is, "Because I can't always look like I just ate a bunch of Smurfs. It's okay for a little bit, but not all the time."

God and Lucifer look at each other with the same question on their faces, _What's a Smurf?_

Lucifer takes another bite of his sno-cone, "What are some things your mother allows you to choose for yourself, child?"

"Mommy lets me pick out my clothes and what she's going to read for bed-time story," Trixie answers. "And I get to help pick what we're going to have for dinner sometimes. Taco Tuesday was MY idea!" she reports with pride.

Satan nods to his father, "See? They start by allowing their spawn to make small, inconsequential decisions. Let them get some experience with it." He looks back down, "What are some things she doesn't allow you to choose?"

The girl wrinkles her nose, "Eating my vegetables. She said I have to do that so I can grow." Trixie looks up at Lucifer and then cocks her head, "Is that how _you_ got so tall? Did you eat _your_ vegetables when you were a kid, Lucifer?"

Lucifer looks put out, "I told you, spawn. I'm The Devil. I was never a...child."

Trixie giggles, "You're silly!"

The Lord of Heaven grins at his son, " _She_ doesn't believe you, either? Even the _children_ are atheists?"

Lucifer shakes his head, "No, she doesn't believe me." He points at the child, "As for whether or not she's atheist, just ask her."

God squats down to Trixie's eye level, "Child, do you believe in...God?"

Lucifer watches as Trixie shrugs and takes another mouthful of sno-cone, "I don't know. My Mommy and Daddy don't but Nana said God wanted Grandpa up in Heaven and that's why a bad guy shot him. She said God has a plan." She pauses, her deep brown eyes look directly into his, "But I sorta hope not."

A look of distress crosses God's face as he glances at his son before turning to the girl again, "Why is that, little one?"

She shrugs, "'Cause then his plan took my Grandpa away and it made Nana and Mommy real sad. And that's mean."


	6. Boy Got It Bad

Lucifer watches the dice roll across the table, doing nothing to hide his boredom.

"Seven!" the casino employee calls with false cheer. "Another win for the man in the corner!"

An arched brow acknowledges the chips added to his already-mountainous pile, and then he _feels it._ Lucifer sighs heavily as he looks at the beautiful woman on his right arm and the even more beautiful man on his left. Placing a gentle hand on each, he steps back and smiles graciously, "All yours, darlings. Have fun, yeah?"

He waves off their half-hearted protests then turns his back on the whole scene. He lights a cigarette once he's outside and begins to walk.

It's not long before he is no longer alone, "What the bloody Hell do you want?" he growls viciously.

"I understand you want to see me," comes the even reply.

Lucifer turns his head to regard his father, "Dropping a step in your dotage? I want _nothing_ of the sort. Piss off."

God looks down at his feet, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Fine. You _need_ to see me. You're angry," he observes.

His son pinches his cigarette out then tosses it in the trash, "Yes, Father, I _am_ angry," he snarls as he continues to walk. "Have a thought as to why?" Dark eyebrows loom over darker eyes that flicker as Lucifer struggles to control his ire. Engaging in celestial fisticuffs on a human sidewalk isn't a great idea, especially given the players involved.

His father nods slowly, "I do, but I'm not sure I understand it. I thought you'd be pleased to..."

"Fall in love?" Lucifer spits. "Yes, I _was_ quite pleased. Until I found out it wasn't real. That it was all _your_ doing. Tell, me, Father. Was the laugh worth it? Did you enjoy watching me make a _**fool**_ of myself with your little _miracle_?"

God frowns, "What do you mean by 'not real,' son? In what way are the feelings you have for each other false?"

Lucifer's mouth drops in disbelief, "How can you ask me that? You made her immune to me then PUT HER IN MY PATH! Amenadiel said that she doesn't know, so you manipulated us BOTH. How DARE you violate our free will this way!"

He turns and brings his face close to his father's, eyes flaming, "I will spend the remainder of my days making certain you regret this."

His father cocks his head then scrubs a hand over his face, " _This_ is what you think happened? Where did you get such a ridiculous idea?" He pauses, "I mean, yes, I had Amenadiel ensure Miss Decker's arrival, but..." he gives Lucifer a pointed look. "Son, her presence on this plane has absolutely _nothing_ to do with you."

Lucifer stops and glares at his father, "You're lying," he replies flatly.

God arches an eyebrow, "Seriously? Do I even need to guess what makes you think that I put her here to manipulate you?" He shakes his head in disappointment. "Your mother's scheming never ends, does it?"

His son huffs as he adjusts his shirt cuff, "Then you admit at least to manipulating _her_?" Lucifer might have run away, but he'll be damned if he is going to step down as his detective's champion.

God raises a staying hand, "Son, you don't even know _what_ she is. I suppose looking at it, it makes sense that the two of you would...grow close after meeting."

Lucifer's angry stare doesn't relent, "Tell me."

His father sighs, "You are familiar with some of the humane spirits, yes? Hope, Love...Justice, to name a few?"

His son nods, "I've heard of them. You created them after I Fell, but I understand that they are to be your...ambassadors. Vessels for what you hope to see embodied in humanity."

God smiles, "Exactly."

Lucifer's eyes open wide, "Wait. You mean to tell me..."

His father nods, "Yes."

Lucifer's dark eyes narrow, "So, which one is she?"

God laughs, "You really can't figure that out? Come on, son. Use that perfect brain I gave you."

His son's face splits into a smile as he recalls his work with the detective, "Justice."

His father's smile brightens the entire area. "Indeed. Peace and Hope are here somewhere as well. Like Miss Decker, they are also immune to your charm. Incorruptible."

Lucifer frowns, "She doesn't know, does she?"

HIs father shakes his head in the negative, "There's no need. Her spirit will dictate her path and she is free to walk that path as she sees fit without interference from me."

Lucifer's eyebrows come down, "Why can I be injured around her? It's more than a case of one celestial being able to hurt another. I don't understand that part."

God shakes his head, "Not entirely sure. Perhaps because your gifts are so closely aligned? Does she seem to be anything more than human in your presence? Maybe she draws from you."

His son's frown grows deeper, "Nothing that jumps to mind." He cocks his head, "Let me get this straight. Us meeting and...developing...a...um...blast! I can't even say it."

Lucifer huffs a loud breath, "...relationship..." He pauses for a moment to catch his breath, "Not you?"

God smiles gently, "No, son. All choices related to...that...are on the two of you. Call it a happy coincidence."

They walk along in silence while Lucifer processes this information when his Father interrupts after several minutes, "She's on her way here, by the way." He chuckles, "And she is _not_ happy. Good luck with that." The chuckle grows louder, "Want me to keep an eye out in case she shoots you again?"

Lucifer looks pained, "Bloody Hell." He looks at his Father, "What can I tell her?"

God shrugs, "The truth is always a good start."

His son scowls, "I have no intention of _lying_ to her, Father. But I need to know what to leave out."

God stops and rests a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, "You love her, son?"

Lucifer looks down at his shoes and is silent for a long moment before raising his dark eyes to his Father's twinkling blue ones, "Yes."

God's smile is almost blinding, "Then tell her everything."


	7. One of Us

God sits back on a couch in Lux and takes a sip of scotch. He nods slowly in answer to his son's declaration and says nothing while Lucifer fingers the piano. "And what was her reaction?" he finally asks.

Introducing a human to The Divine is always a dicey proposition. When his son explained he exposed himself to his therapist, Linda Martin, his father was concerned over the outcome. Turns out the woman simply needed time to process. And some help from a demon, of all things.

The last time an Earth-bound, lesser Divine was brought into the know regarding their true identity, things went...poorly. The poor soul attempted to force what they felt was their Divine mandate on the masses and many people died. They didn't understand they were simply to live their lives as an example. Performing small acts of selflessness. Feed a homeless person here, put a bad guy in jail there. That sort of thing.

Justice is always a tricky one because it's never alone for long.

Justice begets Hope.

Another sip of scotch seems in order.

Lucifer smiles softly, "It went surprisingly well, actually." The smile grows playful, "She didn't even shoot me." A more structured tune streams from the piano for another minute before he continues.

"She..." he pauses as his throat yields to his emotions, then coughs before continuing, "she was concerned I was in pain."

His father nods quietly, "Of course. If I may...has she...decided what's to be done with you? Here on the Earthly plane, at least? She's allowed that, you realize."

"I do," comes the quiet answer. Lucifer takes a drag off his cigarette and exhales slowly, "But she doesn't."

God's eyebrows go up, "No? You didn't tell her who she is, then?"

Lucifer shakes his head, "I didn't. It's...unimportant, really. Maybe if she weren't utilizing her gifts, but as it stands, it might harm her a great deal to know that, so...no. I don't think I'll tell her at all."

His father nods, "A wise choice, my son. And what of the child? You'll leave that off as well?"

Lucifer's phone buzzes and he takes a moment to respond before returning to the conversation.

He laughs, "If I was concerned about her ire over receiving proof of my identity, I'd be doubly so over mentioning there is anything...unusual going on with Beatrice." An affectionate smile slides across his face, "She wouldn't blink before sending me straight back to Hell."

God chuckles, "I am pleased for you."

His son smiles, "As am I. The Detective has agreed to explore a relationship - on human terms, of course." Another chuckle, "I have my first date with Chloe and her daughter this evening. We're going to do something humans call 'laser tag'."

His father smiles, "You know, son, I don't think this could have turned out better if I HAD directed it all myself."

Lucifer shakes his head, "It's not quite done yet, of course. And...there's something else you should know." He pauses at his father's raised eyebrows. "Chloe just arrived. She asked to meet you and I agreed."

God's eyebrows come down, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asks.

Lucifer shrugs, "I don't see the problem. You've met some of the other humans around me."

His father nods, "Yes, but they didn't _know_."

Lucifer waves him off as they hear the door to the club open and close, "She's met The Devil Himself and hardly blinked. How bad can it be to meet _you_? Humans have been socialized to believe _I'm_ the dangerous one."

Satan watches as the woman he loves walks down the stairs. It's clear she's nervous from the way she's caught her lower lip between her teeth. Her right hand strays to her hip out of habit, seeking the comfort of her sidearm.

He steps toward her, his posture casual, takes her hands and leans forward for a peck on the cheek, "No worries, darling."

His father stands and bows in greeting, "Miss Decker."

Chloe steps closer, her eyes traveling over God, clearly making assessments. She cocks her head, eyes narrowed, "So, what am I supposed to call you?"

He shrugs casually, "You may call me Father if you wish. Or God. Some call me Yaweh. Jehovah. Allah. It doesn't matter."

"I _have_ a father," she scowls. "He died. I'll just call you God."

Lucifer snickers as he strolls to the bar to pour her a drink.

The Lord of Heaven nods politely, "Of course." He smiles and gestures to Lucifer, "I understand from my son that you are a rather remarkable woman."

Chloe frowns, "Aren't you supposed to already know that? The whole omnipotent thing?"

God laughs, a warm sound that vibrates in her bones, "When looking at an enormous picture, it's hard to focus on one individual aspect of the image, dear. And there are billions in this case." He pauses to watch as his son solicitously offers a glass to the detective and he smiles, "And it seems you already have one of The Divine to watch over you."

She blushes as she smiles at Lucifer, "Thank you."

She takes a sip, followed by a deep breath. Then another deep breath.

Then she tosses back the rest of her drink and puts the glass down carefully on the piano.

Lucifer watches the steel in her spine harden as her posture shifts. _Oh no._

He grabs her hand, "Darling?" He cautions.

Chloe's eyebrows go up and her piercing blue gaze almost physically pushes him backward.

God watches, fascinated, as the most powerful, and possibly fearsome, of his creations bows his head, releases her hand and steps away. "Of course," Lucifer murmurs and steps away to sit at the piano.

 _This is grand._

The detective steps closer and jabs God in the chest, " _ **You**_ are a miserable parent. And an asshole." She points at Lucifer, whose dark eyes sparkle with mirth in the dim light of the club, "You abandoned your son. You HURT him. You let him believe you didn't care at all. What the Hell is WRONG with you?"

He nods and looks her in the eye, "You're right. I've made mistakes."

Chloe growls, "But you're supposed to be _perfect_!"

God smiles indulgently, "What, exactly IS perfect, Miss Decker, Hmmm? Can you tell me?"

She doesn't back down, "You're not supposed to make mistakes. You're _**God**_ , for...well...for your sake!"

He coughs a harsh laugh, "Let me enlighten you, my dear, as to the true nature of perfection. As it was intended, at any rate. It's simply meeting expectation. No more, no less."

Chloe's eyebrows come down in confusion, "What do you mean?"

God takes a sip of his scotch then begins to pace slowly, "Think about your relationship with your own child. Does she have bad days?"

Chloe nods, "Sure. We all do."

He points at her, "Exactly. We. All. Do. And when she has one of those bad days, it doesn't diminish her in your eyes, does it?"

She frowns, "Of course not."

He grins, "She's still perfect, then, isn't she? You expect her to have bad days because you, yourself, have them. She meets expectations." God pauses and looks down at his feet, "It doesn't seem to meet humanity's expectation of me, but believe it or not, I also make mistakes. Have a bad day, if you will."

He cocks his head, "Sometimes those mistakes are not a problem. Like monotremes." He points to his son, "Blame _him_ for that one. It was intended for them to be a normal mammals and give birth. But he was ranting about something, distracted me, and...oops. They lay eggs."

"Sometimes, those mistakes _are_ a problem." God takes another sip, "When you see other parents who are hard on their children, how do you feel about that?" he asks.

Chloe shrugs, "I get angry at the parents. They need to try to understand their children a little more."

God's eyebrows raise in question, "Adjust their expectations, perhaps?"

The detective pauses, her eyes widen slightly and she cocks her head while she thinks. "Yeah."

He sighs, "I'm here, now, because I'm trying to correct my earlier mistakes. Adjusting my expectations, if you will."

From his seat at the piano, Lucifer raises his glass to his father. _Well-played._

Chloe's scowl returns, "But you're still an asshole."

Lucifer chokes on his scotch and doesn't even try to be hold back his laughter.

God finishes his drink and sets the glass down before turning back to the presumptuous human in front of him. _Conversations with Justice are never boring,_ he smiles inwardly. "In what way do you mean?" he asks.

"All this crap people do to each other. Murders, rapes, hatred. Kids get hurt and die. Cancer. Explain all that. Aren't you supposed to be watching out for us and stuff?" she demands.

He shakes his head, "Something my son and I have in common is a refusal to interfere with free will. It is inviolable. Sacred. The things humans do to each other, while sometimes horrible, are the result of free will."

Chloe growls and jabs him again, "That's bullshit. There are horrors. Atrocities. You allow them to happen."

God scrubs a hand over his face, "It's true. And humans do terrible things to one another. I can't be everywhere. And times when I've tried to intervene...things only get worse." He gives her an arch look, "Not many humans can handle speaking to me or my son without going insane."

She huffs angrily, "Plenty of people have done a bit more than just _speak_ with your son and not gone crazy. I recently interviewed enough of them to fill the precinct. They were all pretty happy about it, actually."

Lucifer chuckles from his piano bench.

God shakes his head, "But they don't truly _know_. Or Believe. I promise you, Miss Decker, if I walked outside, gave someone cause to Believe, then started talking to them, they'd go insane almost immediately. And possibly die." He sighs heavily, "My ability to directly interact is quite limited, I'm afraid."

Chloe walks to the bar and grabs a bottle to pour another round. Taking another sip, she glares at Lucifer's father. "Fine. You're not as all-powerful as we thought. I can live with that. What about cancer? The bad shit that happens to people that have nothing to do with free will? Children are _born_ with cancer, God. Explain _**that**_."

The Lord of Heaven's face falls and he nods quietly, "That is a fair question." He looks over to his son, eyebrows raised, _How do I answer that?_ Lucifer shrugs and gestures, _Tell her the truth._

"It's a...um...design flaw," he replies softly.

"What?!" she hisses.

"An error in the human design. Your "DNA," I believe your scientists call it," he responds quietly. "The dark side of the coin that facilitates your rapid evolution. Sometimes this flaw is revealed or exacerbated by some of the things you humans do to yourselves or the environment, but the flaw is there regardless."

"Like smoking or pollution," she responds.

He nods, "Yes. But to your point about the children, Detective, I...am sorry."

"Can't you just FIX it?" she demands. "Just...wave your hand and...?"

God shakes his head, "Not without destroying millions of years of evolution. And stopping the evolution that is yet to come. No." He takes a deep pull from his glass, "However, I have enabled scientists to make discoveries to help. To...fix it on a timeline that is sympathetic with human biological development."

"How long will that take?" she asks quietly.

He shakes his head again, "I don't know. The timeline is different for each disease."

Lucifer rises from the bench and walks over. He rests a gentle hand on Chloe's shoulder and gives her a gentle squeeze. "Are you done chastising my Father or shall I make some popcorn?"

She blushes as she looks up at his smirk, then she looks at God, "Alright, so maybe you're not entirely an asshole." She narrows her eyes, "You seem like any of the rest of us, actually."

God offers another polite bow, "Opportunities for growth are not a limited commodity, my dear Chloe." He gestures to indicate the three of them, "There are plenty to go around."

She nods as she leans to the side to affectionately bump into Lucifer, "He's a really good guy, you know. Keep an open mind, though. He can be hard to manage sometimes," she chuckles.

Lucifer's eyes widen and he sputters, "Oh, so you manage me, now, do you?"

God laughs and winks as he raises his glass to hers, "Trust me, my dear. I'm well aware."

Chloe clinks her glass as she shares a laugh with him while Lucifer rolls his eyes.

"Bloody Hell," he cheerfully grumps.


End file.
